FUNNY Friday

THE GERIATRIC ALPHABET........

A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C's for the chest pains,
Perhaps car-di-ac?

D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.

H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
I is for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow.

P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for tinnitis; there's bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy", you know.

W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
X is for Xray and what might be found.
Y is another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have...in my mind.

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
And I'm keeping twenty doctors fully employed!!